So, what is it REALLY?

When I first found out I was pregnant I thought this blog would be a great idea. Not many people are aware of hyperemesis or what it is, so I thought this would be the perfect venue with which to inform people. Also, I found a few blogs on the topic when I was searching and I found them very encouraging. So...the more, the merrier! Right?

Soon after creating this blog though, I realized that blogging while sick is really difficult. I think about blogging here almost daily but obviously I haven't gotten around to it. The thought of it is daunting. But today I'm determined.

I want to be clear that the purpose of this blog is not to throw myself a pity party. It's not so people will feel sorry for me. I just want people to be informed. Informed that hyperemesis exists. Informed about what it actually is. And informed about how they can help those who have it.

I'd like to begin by sharing the true definition of hyperemesis. Wikipedia describes it this way:

Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) is a severe form of morning sickness, with "unrelenting, excessive pregnancy-related nausea and/or vomiting that prevents adequate intake of food and fluids." Hyperemesis is considered a rare complication of pregnancy but, because nausea and vomiting during pregnancy exist on a continuum, there is often not a good diagnosis between common morning sickness and hyperemesis. Estimates of the percentage of pregnant women afflicted range from 0.3% to 2.0%.

The primary risk of hyperemesis is dehydration and severe malnutrition. Thankfully, I have had much less vomiting this time around than I have with previous pregnancies, so I am not worried about either of these right now.

On more than one occasion, I have made the mistake of telling people that I have a severe form of morning sickness. While this is technically true, it leads to all sorts of well-intentioned but completely unhelpful suggestions such as eating certain foods, sipping ginger tea, wearing Sea-bands, etc. Hyperemesis is not helped by any traditional morning sickness "remedies". (And even if it was, I'm pretty sure I'd have all those "remedies" down by now. This is my 5th pregnancy.)

At the beginning of this pregnancy, I was trying to find more information on this condition and came up with only one solid website: Help HER. While only finding one website was a little disappointing, I found the information there completely invaluable. You see, up until that point, through all my other pregnancies and the years I had experienced these symptoms, nobody ever acknowledged them. I never had a doctor or midwife tell me they were real. My friends and family didn't seem to understand the severity of my symptoms. And so I came to the only logical conclusion I could come to: there was something wrong with me. And by that I mean that the problem was my fault. I didn't know anyone who understood or tried to understand, so I assumed that I was indeed the problem. But when I came across the Help HER website, I was stunned. Every one of my symptoms - EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. - was listed. I sobbed with relief, knowing that I was actually not alone. There were other women who experienced these crazy symptoms.

The list of symptoms on the website is long and most likely incomplete, but I thought I would share the main symptoms I am experiencing this time around, based on that list:

Excessive Salivation. It makes me gag. I try to keep a mint or piece of hard candy in my mouth most of the time in an attempt to dilute it, but as soon as the candy is gone I'm back to square one. I know the candy is terrible for my teeth but it's the only partial solution I have to this symptom.

Extreme Fatigue. I can sleep for 12 hours every night, lie on the couch all morning, and still nap every afternoon. I feel lazy, but I'm honestly THAT TIRED.

Food Aversions. I think this is a given with pregnancy, but I have food aversions that are so strong that even the thought of certain foods makes me literally gag. And forget watching commercials or flipping through a magazine. I don't want to see it, whatever it is.

Hypersensitive Gag Reflex. I guess I've already mentioned gagging a few times, but here's one more punch. Even the slightest impact on my throat makes me gag, such as coughing, sneezing and sometimes even just talking. Brushing my teeth is also very difficult for me due to the reach of my toothbrush. I generally skip the back of my mouth so as to avoid as much gagging as possible. To sum up? Everything makes me gag.

Increased sense of smell. Ridiculously increased. As in, I smell things that my husband cannot even smell. For example, yesterday I was coming down the stairs and before I even reached the bottom, I could tell that the garage door was open. The garage reeks of gas to me even though my husband says it's psychological. But trust me. I can smell it. And it.....can you guess?.....yes, makes me gag.

Intolerance to motion/noise/light. They made it all nice and cohesive here, but these are probably my most noticeable symptoms. So, let me break it down for you:

Motion: Every movement makes me sick. Rolling over in bed, bending over, repositioning myself on the couch, walking, riding in the car, and any outside movement from others - whether I can feel it or just see it - makes me more nauseous. This is the reason I have completed nary a household task in over a month.

Noise: I've never really had a high tolerance for noise, and that intolerance is significantly exacerbated during pregnancy. I am happy that my husband likes to wrestle with the kids, but I usually have to leave the room. It's just too loud.

Light: You know when you've been lying in the dark for quite some time and then suddenly someone turns on the light without warning you? I feel that way a lot, even when it's not dark. Of the three of these intolerances though, this is definitely the least noticeable to me.

Secondary anxiety/depression. I rarely leave the house and never without a very good reason. I try to get out at least once or twice a week, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. The resulting isolation is depressing. I am so thankful for one dear friend who makes it a point to come and visit me every few weeks. And for a relative who recently dropped off some goodies for us. I don't know if my other friends and relatives don't understand how sick I am or if they just don't care. But either way, I'm thankful to have at least a few who swing by occasionally.

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I think I'll leave it at that for now. It's awkward to ask for help, but to be honest....I could really use some. My husband is becoming exhausted and I think my kids may be growing weary of my inability to do much for/with them. If you would like to know how you can help, there's a quick general read here. Or if you want specifics, you're welcome to ask me how you can help.